I don’t feel the same.
I don’t do the things that used to interest me anymore.
I don’t eat properly.sometimes I barely eat at all, sometimes I eat then I don’t want to.
I don’t sleep well anymore. I sleep when everyone else is awake. I wake up when everyone else is asleep. At times I sleep too much, at times I don’t sleep at all.
I constantly just ever want to be in my room. Even if I want to go out, it will only last about 10 minutes; then I would wanna rush back.
& EVERYONE is telling me I have lost so much weight. In the beginning, they joke about it saying it’s good and I look good. But after a few months, they can see I’m losing much more weight; even I can see that too..
In all my latest pictures, I don’t see the girl I was. I’m confused as to whether that was the girl I am or that wasn’t for awhile.
But all I realise is, I look so different now. My family sees all that’s left is skinny boney. My eyes are deeper and darker than ever. My face is different. I see these changes but I don’t know what to say or do or even feel.
I constantly want to be alone, far away. I actually want to and feel comfortable being alone, with just myself.
Sometimes I pretend I don’t feel it, but I do.
I haven’t cried in so long, because I don’t let myself to..but in my room, I cry like I’ve lost half of me.
Some things or people I let come and go in my thoughts; in my heart. I let them. Even I don’t know anymore.
Is this just a phase or is this permanent.
Because I just don’t know anymore.
feeling melancholy & depressed
- eversince May.